I've observed and played lots of soccer so have quite some standing on analysing and describing the code.
After years of regrettably playing it growing up and watching countless boring matches I think I can sum it up really well and I hope you'll all enjoy and agree with me

It's basically 20 men (keepers excluded) the majority with long hair preened to look like a female Pantene shampoo model, with body's not dissimilar to a 15 year old catwalk model, prancing around on a field like ballerinas or young female gymnasts doing their ball floor routine and falling over pretending half their leg is torn off with amputation the only option to stay alive.
What a pissweak, gender identity crisis, crybaby temper tantrum piddled my pants and pooed my nappy debacle of a sport. I mean seriously!
