Serious question.

[Laniger]

Laniger confesses that he doesn't understand soccer. In fact, the movements of the seagulls seems to be just as interesting as the actions of the players. So Laniger would offer an outsider's suggestion to the guys in charge of the show. "Why don't you go quietly to the guy who keeps on belting a drum ALL the bloody time and tell him firmly "KNOCK IT OFF".

[post_hoc]

Because probably 4 billion people either play or watch football, the addled thoughts of a figmented avatar do not warrant anything more than derision

[NRL&NFLweLaughATafl]

Like a lot of AFL fans Hoc. Laniger thinks that a game that nobody else plays and that rewards stupidity like points for missing is far more exciting.

Unfortunately for him Victorian Rules still remains only popular in half of one country. There are plenty of grand plans to make AFL global.
But I think pigs might fly before that happens.