"Mates" my arse

[Grim Reaper]

Both John Howard and Kim Beazley weigh in with their opinions on what it means to be Australian. The answer? What a shock: "mateship". Said Howard:

"Mateship is one of the values we as Australians hold most dear. Mateship crosses any boundaries set up by gender, or by ethnic origin, or political affiliation, or bank balance or street address."

And Beazley:

"But mateship is uniquely Australian. We are a country that celebrates individual achievement. But above all we are a country that knows we must pull together. We are a country of mates."

What a pair of shocking bullshit artists.

I'm not the most traveled guy in the world, so it's quite possible I'm overlooking some small nation wherein everyone thinks their neighbours suck. So would someone mind pointing out to me, with directions in latitude and longitude, these dreadful lands where friendship doesn't exist?

I can tell you England isn't one of them. It's a nation that stood together, virtually alone, to fight the Axis powers before America entered the Second World War, and a nation today famous for the workers uniting against frightful opposition.

Or the United States, a country that miraculously healed itself after a Civil War, and whose brotherly love was legendary on September 11.

Or Turkey, whose love of their brother extends beyond a mere parochial jerk off, who have the humility and heart to honour those who came to destroy them, the tribute returned every year as we bitch at them while routinely pissing on the graves.

Not surprising, really, from a nation that, as a collection of "mates", is a pretty fractious party. Our marriage and divorce rate is roughly comparable with the rest of the world and, according to a report by the United Nations Interregional Crime and Justice Research Institute entitled Criminal Victimisation in Seventeen Industrialised Countries: Key-findings from the 2000 international Crime Victims Survey, Australia leads the world in assaults upon our brothers and sisters.

Not, in fact, the envy of the civilised world when it comes to brotherly love. And it's nothing compared the love "mates" have for those who aren't their "mates" at all.

"Mateship" is nonsense. It's about as uniquely Australian as oxygen, or getting dressed for work in the morning. And yet it's peddled out every time some boofhead is stuck for an idea as to what defines Australia. Someone better think of something else, fast, before "boorishness" is the only definition that makes sense

[crocodileman]

Or the United States, a country that miraculously healed itself after a Civil War, and whose brotherly love was legendary on September 11.

Was I the only one cheering when those towers came tumbling down??

[Grim Reaper]

Timber......

[crocodileman]

Howard and Beazley and their discussion of "Australian Values" makes me ill,but ok, lets talk about them from the early stages of European occupation.

Some values could come from:-

1. Poisoning Aboriginal water supplies to eradicate traditional owners;
2. Raping Aboriginal women;
3. "Nigger Shooting" hunting parties that occurred most weekends;
4. Frontier violence and massacres of men, women and children and then lying to protect themselves.

What values do these acts bring out?

[Grim Reaper]

It brings out MATESHIP which the Australian ethos aka Hypocrisy is made up of. And they want the Muslims to adopt this MATESHIP as well....Holy Allah!

[The Portonian]

As in love and war, there are no rules in politics, both major parties know this and have long perfected the art of abusing it to their collective advantages. This whole spate of "mateship" and Australian values is nothing more than a sham designed to take away national focus from truly important issues. Sadly, much of this country is comprised of mentally lax people who are nothing more than accepting sheep...even amongst the so called responsible sections like media and business.

Australia doesn't have "values" in the modern world, we're not capable of it under the current regime format and progressive path towards corporate monopoly and US sub-state servience. What both Howard and Beazely (or more aptly, their respective PR departments) strive for is a lowest common denominator topic. Nothing stirs the blood quite like national safety (fear), immigrants (threat) and country values (salvation). Mateship is just one of those very valued keywords that they will trot out time and again in order to gain sympathy, agreement and political points. It all comes down to who is more believable and charismatic (frightening to think of either pollie as charismatic I know) and that is the basis of where both parties stand in their neverending search for national acceptance in the run to an approaching election year.

'tis a pity that the country is full to the brim with so many dull witted morons who will accept the bs that these two parties continue to trot out again and again. It is pleasing however, to find that pockets of self thinking people still exist in all corners of the Oz web world like here at Talking Footy.