I Really am a Mongrel!

[crocodileman]

My first gambling story I will share with you highlights not only the seedy side of gambling, but also displays some obvious character flaws I have.

Many years ago, I used to live up the road from the Broncos Leagues
Club and I used to frequent there regularly with a mad mate for beer, punting and just hanging out. You soon get to know some of the characters in the place when you spend many hours there, and this was no exception for me.

One particular punter there called "Ron" really annoyed me! He seemed to back every winner by geeing them home (even the roughies!), was loud, ugly, a big mouth and claimed to be an expert on every topic discussed. His most recognisable feature was the trail of dandruff on his collar and halfway down his back, accentuated by the fact that he always wore black polo shirts!

On one particular day (a Saturday) I was having a few bets in the TAB and I was losing as usual. I backed this horse and had $50 on the nose, only for it to get beaten in a photo finish by a horse Ron professed to have backed to all in the TAB. Eventually, I re-gathered my composure and headed to the toilet to fire out a few nuggets - the man who said that a good crap was better than sex must have been close to the mark!

I enter my usual cubicle (the others were always in a state of mess!) when, EUREKA!!!

There was a wallet lying on the floor right in front of the toilet, and I could see the red glow of a few $20 notes within it as it lay there half folded over. I grabbed for it, rummaged through it to find $180 in notes (plus about $4 in coin within it!) As I was about to put the money in my pocket and leave the empty wallet there for any scavengers, I decided to look at the licence and cards.

Sure enough, it was my nemesis Ron's!! It must have slipped out of his back pocket as he was having a bog! Now ordinarily, you'd leave everything untouched and be pleased with the booty (enough to more than cover my losses that day!), but remember, I still had to have a number 2, and Ron's face was looking straight at me making my stomach churn even more.

I don't want to go into the messy details, but I proceeded to leave my DNA all over Ron's licence, Visa, Amex, Library Card, a picture of his wife and dauhters as well as Saturday night's lotto coupon (I thought it was probably registered so I didn't keep it!). At the end of it all, it was a real mess in there, and I must admit it was hard to defecate over everything, only because I was in fits of laughter!

Eventually, I left the scene of the crime safe in the knowledge that I had not only lost the previous night's dinner, but gained some well needed cash. I re-entered the TAB to see Ron nervously fidgetting around the tables looking for his lost wallet - the penny had dropped. The next 10 minutes were a sheer delight to me as I watched this merkin in a state of panic - I could hardly hold myself from bursting out laughing.

I remember the point when he realised that it (the wallet) might be in the toilet and when he came out - well he looked like a kid who just found out that Santa was a fraud - he was as white as snow!

A classic!

ENDNOTE

Any normal person would have called it a day after this, but I proceeded to gamble my new found fortune - but it was as if God was punishing me for this act. Everything I backed either missed the start, fell, was trapped six wide or got beat in a photo.

As usual, when I left the Bronx that day, I had nothing in my pocket, but it was an exciting day nonetheless.

[Beaussie]

LOL, very amusing tale there Croc. Shame you weren't able to back a winner and walk out of the club with some money in your pocket, even if it was originally Rons.