Bloody Monkey Cliff Diving

[Beaussie]

Arrrggghhhh

I just can't beat that ******* score of yours KE. It is really starting to piss me off.

[King-Eliagh]

There there now beaussie, its ok to be second best. You know there are many others in the same situation as you beaussie and they're right here at talking footy! So many have struggled to beat my top scores and i have tried to console them with my words of wisdom but it doesnt seem to help. One in particular whom has really had it tough is that boringtommy and to a lesser extent dizzy's and crocman.

I tell you what beaussie here's an idea. Maybe you, dizzy's, croc, and tommy, and any others who are going through the same could form a club and meeting place where you can all talk about how hard its been to beat me and how...it will never happen . You might be able to work together to get over this horrible incompetence the lot of you seem to share?

These are the steps/meeting topics i suggest you should follow. It should take around six weeks.

Week 1: Crying therapy. Thats right you all need to let this out by crying openly in a group and sharing your personal troubles regarding the impossible issue of defeating King-Eliagh. Please make sure boringtommy sheds some tears, he is prob the most stubborn out of the bunch of you losers and wont want to cry. Support him and give him time.

Week 2: Anger release. Now I know you're all angry that you cant beat me. Fair enough i would be too. So as a solution to releasing this anger i suggest you put a chucky mask on boringtommy and each take turns in belting the **** out of him with a crowbar. Make sure to beat him good and proper (ie he should be motionless and silent afterwards) This will serve two purposes. 1. the release of anger for members other than bt. And 2. A good serving of humility for the one who needs it most.

Week 3: Hypnosis. Now im guessing boringtommy wont be present at this session due to hospitalisation from last weeks punishment. However all others should attend. I'm hoping hypnosis will free you all of your feelings of inadiquacy and allow you all to accept being losers.

Week 4: Hospital visit to see boringtommy. In this weeks session i suggest you all go and see what the results of being ignorant annnnd a loser can be. It should devastate and shock you all. I suggest no presents or well wishes.

Week 5: boringtommy's funeral. He should have died at some stage this week due to severe internal injuries. Go to his funeral and grieve the loss. After family members have left graffiti the grave site with pro eliagh jargon.

Week 6: Crying therapy. This will be the final week and i recommend crying your hearts out again. It will have been a gruelling and emotionally draining 6 weeks but afterwards you will all finally be free of the shackles i have put upon you all with my utter domination of the arcade games room.


I really hope this helps and i hope you guys listen to me this time. I mean I am the greatest of all times so it might be a good idea ya know
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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

How about we just reset all the scores and put in place a ban on KE entering the arcade? As always, majority rules isn't it?

Oh and BT and Someone else seem to have your measure on any games requiring skill shots. And I'm unbeatable on pinball. How about Croc with Panic Room and Dizzy's with Gurdian? Or what about Mikey G with Tetris. What's up with that champ?

[King-Eliagh]

I have recently taken the panic room title.

Yes your point is somewhat valid beaussie, you commoners do have the odd title and as i've said before its like a present from your king. I'm not the greedy type and 19 all time high scores is enough for me.

How many did you have again?
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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

Well I'm happy to report Monkey Cliff Diving has been conquered.

My new all time record score is 23256

Try your best to beat me KE old son.

[Beaussie]

You're awfully silent about my lastest all time highest score with Monkey Dive KE.

[King-Eliagh]

No no beaussie i've just been busy of late. congratulations on taking the score...well done. But I really have to comment on your efforts and im sorry if this puts a dampener on things.

I will beat this score and im sure it wont take me long. Now to my comment. I'm guessing i've played monkey dive some 50 odd times, and im guessing you've played it some 150 odd times, this guestimate is based on your posts in here and many telephone calls in which you have said, and i quote "i keep bloody trying and i just cant beat your score, i've tried so many bloody times!".

I think its obvious who's the better/more naturally skilled player. It'll take me max 20 shots to beat your new high score, so all in all i really dont think there's any need for you to be excited, KE is still the King of monkey dive.
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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

Yeah whatever. As the records show, I'm the new king of Monkey Dive. Deal with it sunshine.

[King-Eliagh]

And its done, took me about 30 odd goes. Sorry for taking months to have a go but this can all be explained. A new computer that i was too lazy to install active x on made it impossible for me to play games. But now posting from beaussies home venue I have defeated your score. I must say it was a challenge but still nothing to write home about.

Beaussie i wish you well in defeating my new monkey dive high score.

KE...still the monkey dive champ!

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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

Once again you talk to soon. 3 goes of Monkey Dive and I'm back to having the highest score. The bar has been set higher again my dear friend. Are you up to the challenge?

[King-Eliagh]

Ofcourse i am chumpo. And i dont believe your three goes for a second. When will you stop lying beaussie. I saw you have two shots at it and get nowhere near. Anyway my estimates say i'll get it in 7 goes and possibly make it well beyond the 25000 mark.

Again i dont have flash active x on my comp so i'll come over and do it in front of you on your very own comp as soon as i get the chance. Cheers!
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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

So you'll need 7 chances and predict the score will go beyond 25k? Time will tell I guess.

Good luck sunshine.

[King-Eliagh]

Yes seven chances and POSSIBLY the score will go beyond 25k.

You are way out of your league Junior.


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Time to wake up and smell the pumpkins.

[Beaussie]

[King-Eliagh]